Tuesday, May 17, 2011

From Kisumu...with love..

So if you call me and I take a considerable amount of time to pick your call….am not ignoring you….blame it on this “bollywood” theme song I got as a ring-tone. Every time my phone rings, I just have to get my dance on. Its just irresistible…Punjabi MC, totally rocks.

Kisumu. The source of my river of life. My origin. I went there this week and it’s just magical. The sleepy town of Usenge on a wet Tuesday morning. Bare-footed school kids with patched bottom shorts litter the roads. Funny story, behind their bare-footedness. Rural schools, from our area, to my knowledge, don’t allow primary school kids to wear shoes to school. Why, you ask. Get this, because by them doing so, shows some level of disrespect to the teachers. How is it disrespectful to cover your toes from the elements? Messed up!!

But I immensely enjoyed my short stay there. Saw my aunt as well. She even found me afew lasses to court. She told me she was devastated that I am still single and yet there were well mannered girls..with all teeth..there in Kisumu. Noted. My aunt, the sales person she is, introduced me to the pros of her selections of would be brides and glazed over the cons. She even tried to bait me with “the way to a mans heart is through their stomach” cliché, telling me that I would have home cooked meals everyday at the appropriate meal intervals and have my clothes washed meticulously…even them hard to wash denims. Hehehe city chicás…beat that.

Aah yes. Ethiopian Fridays. My novelty weekly shing. Ethiopian is simply…wow. Went there this Friday and as ususal. Blown away by the splendid cuisine and gourmet coffee. I like. Am pretty much full when I make way to the center and this guy stops me and he looks like he’s been in a fight with a knife…and the knife won!! He gives me the usual story of not eating for a whole week, and he jut needs some money for food. The pungent smell of days old liquor still on his breath and my eyes were burning from the stench of cigarettes from his breath. I know this guy will immediately get a smoke the minute I give him some chumz, but who am I to judge. I think that’s where we go wrong, assumptions. So I decided to give him the benefit of doubt and give him some loose change. Guy immediately smiles, almost saying “sucker” as he walks away. Guess I am a sucker in some way.

But am I really, for always trying to see the good in people or having a glass half full perspective?? Spread a little good today, where ever you are. Sure, you definitely don’t get anything in return but who knows what a little goodness can do. Ya’ll have a good one.

Thursday, May 5, 2011


“Godi, ati unasema nini?? (Godi, what are you saying?)”, “Ati huna bibi!! (you don’t have a wife!!!)” ….the female voice shrieked from the speakers and in unison.. the entire matatu roars with laughter. You just been busted mate. Kenyans are crazy. Busted, literally. I absolutely love this show. It’s just hilarious how these cheating buggers are caught and try to wiggle their way out of the situation like the worms they are.

“Sii, hivo…ilikuwa tuu ni jokes(it aint like that, I was just joking) ”. Godi is now apprehensive, clearly, realizing his folly. Long story short, Godi’s wife was sick and tired of his meandering ways, and decided to rest her suspicions once and for all. She did what any red blooded Kenyan wife does…look through the pockets and the phone log and sniff the hubbies clad for anything sinisterly female. She did. She later calls this popular radio show.. “Busted, with Ciku” and yaa, catches the guy pants down..no pun intended. Dumb ass. Don’t get me wrong, I have no sympathy for those horny toads that just cant keep it in their pants…but if that’s who you are…at least be smart enough not to be caught amigo.

I don’t know, I just don’t. cant a guy wear reasonably fitting ( I don’t want to use tightly fit ) pair of jeans without being looked at. So I did, and got stares, but hey, at least attention has shifted from my goatee, but it becomes worrying when I get into a matatu and trust, its full, and these elderly lady looks at me like am some piece of meat. I aint on the menu lady :-] . I love my “oops-I-have-dropped-something-pants” ..that’s what I call ‘em, and hey, so what, I like to extenuate my features now and then. Live with it.

This guy knows how to live people. Guy was stone drunk. From what I heard, he got into his car, like he always does, puts the reverse gear to get out of the parking, looks behind to do so and all of a sudden the car just goes forward. Kenyans.  I know there is the rising costs of fuel and all, but really, you can’t just go making shortcuts anywhere. I think that’s the lesson for today folks. No shortcuts in life. Just go the straight and narrow, not the crooked but wide..makes sense. Have an awesome rest of the week folks.