Merhaba..

Am back ya’ll…miss me…men its been way too long. I went back to Kenya over summer…had me some massive fun with friends, both old and new..shared some cries and some laughs…at and got fat!!!

So fast forward..the day is the 17^th of October..current year..errr..2012…location….Famagusta, North Cyprus…state of mind…I don’t know…am still walking around my crib with my spidey-undiez…its toooo hot. But yes, am vback to the island that “no-speaka-no-english”…and I had no option but to learn the dang language. Hey, I can even count to a million and order fried chicken…and I can even tell them to hold the onions…whaaaat!!!

Sooo I wont bore much with details and what not…here are the images from then till now y’all!!

...Havlu ????

“..Mhhhh….” she went, then puffed the brunette bangs off her face as her blue, almond shaped eyes tried to search mine. Never mind she was 5 foot short of something but her determination was unbearably cute. Ok lets try this again. “Big cloth”, I gestured with my hands apart, “you wipe….everywhere….after shower”. I tried as much as I could to conjure up all the charade techniques I knew..wow, it is a life skill after all.

“oooohhh…Havlu (towel in Turkish)?” . finally we are making progress. She charaded back the basics of towelering after a shower and I was like “yaaaaaaa”. But she pouted and said…”we no have havlu”…no towels…after 15 minutes of being brought for back scrubbers and showering gels only to be told the object that I so quested for aint there..sigh..

Yes, that’s what I go through every day in my knew home. I since moved to Famgusta in the Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus…its still Turkey…so I have been told. But I don’t care..its an island after all. And learning the local dialect, Turkish, is like learning Greek..in all its literal equivalence. It’s a magical place this place is. It’s a bit nippy out right now..we are still in winter and Spring is just but fast approaching and the sun is out more and the birds and insects chirp and creek even more louder as the days became warmer and warmer. 

Havlus besides the fact, you can get by easily but I still suffer from the self induced migraines of converting the currencies in my head when buying stuff in the market..but today was a no brainer..3 Turkish Lirre for a big ass pomegranate. Man last time I had one of em was back home in Kenya when  I tore my pants in an asian neighbor’s tree after almost being caught up there..hehe good times.

So expect more pictures and more translations with words of the day, “Sesame Street “ style but the Turkish version. Yes, every station here is in Turkish even “Courage the cowardly dog”..sigh…

Another year...

Another year..and looking back..i couldn’t  live it any differently..to the new friends to new enemies to that wired kid down the street who burns ants with a magnifying glass..i say this…I couldn’t live it any differently. Got a gig on my birthday and as you would have it…you can’t have your cake and eat it. Had a friend graduating and I offered to cover the event for her. Never again. The traffic was horrendous and the ceremony was murderously boring. By the time I was getting home I was dead tired and salt to injury…got into a small accident with this guy..aaaaarg.

But you know me..always optimistic. A ray of sunshine. And I did what I did every birthday. Got a hold of a 1984 bottle of wine from my friend who works at a certain hotel I cannot divulge…dude might get fired..and went to my favorite spot..Ngong hills to my super favorite spot…my birthday tree and toasted to a year worth lived. Wow. One year older. Sure seems like nothing, right…not exactly.

These last 365 days..I have experienced a tremendous deal of insight of what I want, how to get it and when  to get it. And most importantly…who to spend the rest of my life with. You see, life is not always about the good times, with friends, happy time and all that baloney and mama mboga’s spinaches!! Bad times will come…friends always disappoint and not unless you are under something stronger than morphine, you have to be insane to be happy always. So I decided to have a different approach and outlook to life. expect more from myself than others, love more eat more, pray more, follow God’s master plan for my life more and finally..treasure my relationships..that’s all that counts folks

..the guy with the Magical Goatee

My stylishly long goatee has elicited varying responses but the caper was this guy’s that I sat with in a matatu. Living some odd 25 kilometers from the central business district is a chore. Driving, Matatus or otherwise. Yaa, I am still doing “Mats”. Some oversight on the Hummers technical specifications rendered me unable to procure some vital components for the old gal to move..in short..my broke ass couldn’t get what was needed. Yaa so am seated next to this guy and I have my Bluetooth headsets and the techno just taking to my happy place. So I feel these eyes peering at me, I turned and caught the gaze of the guy and he just looked away breathing heavily. Ok..weirdo. At least. Next thing I know guy chucks a rosary and does a crucifix over and over again. All this time I’m begging someone alights and I move away from this cupcake, but alas.

So I just decide to ignore him and concentrate on my music. I got a reflection of myself on the window and I got why my matatu compatriot was acting all weird. There was a blue neon light with a fish-head like symbol, the logo of the headset, pulsating. What!! The guy thought I’d posses him with my headsets. Kenyans.

Dan and Charity tied the knot a few days ago and love was just oozing from their youthful smiles. Love, amore, hera…that’s all the languages I know..but yes, they be in love. Wish you all the best you guys. 

Of course am not forgetting Denno DNA Kagia and Wangu. May happiness follow you each and very day.

So I couldn’t take any longer. With the wired happening every time I take a ride in the matau, I revived the Hammer…and she liiiiiiiveess…buhahahaha..ya she was on the road…for only two hours. I took her for an excursion..not a joy ride :-] and by the time am getting back it is already dark. I turn on the head lights and a few meters later…she starts smoking…like really smoking. I almost dive out while she is movin! I parked her aside and switched her off. Good grief!! But I wasn’t worried, if this was a James Bond clip the car could have already burst in flames, so I figured, I have to drive like hell to home and sort out the smoking later. It worked. Sure, I got out of the car smelling like I put out a cigarette with my whole body but my baby was home. Man I love this car.

Yaa so I have been incommunicable for some time. I know you missed me..yes you. So expect me regularly and with more tales from your favorite photographer

..matatu chronicles..

“Sirrry. rook ati you”,…the elderly lady scolded the lady behind her as she alighted from the matatu to the amusement of the other passengers. Yes, matatus, always drama. The matatu had passed the stage of the deranged lady and in her anger, she passed her wrath to the other passengers getting off the bus at the next stage, almost pushing off the elderly lady from the bus. The hummer is now enjoying sun bathed days at home, she cant wait to get those wind-shield wipers, and to be back on the road tearing up the tarmac. Don’t worry baby, daddy is working on it.

And the other day got onto those beat down Nissan matatu’s, the 14 seater that at times transforms to a 20 seater..anyway, so this promoter comes up to us and hands some free mints. So we indulge and this lady seated next to me just stares on and the driver asks why she is not partaking of the mints. The lady looked square in the eyes of the driver and said “You take them!! For all you know they could be bewitched.!!”. I almost chocked on my mint trying to suppress the laughter. So you can get bewitched from eating free mints. Hehehe only in Kenya.

Touched. Truly and utterly touched by the outmost selflessness and generosity of fellow Kenyans who contributed to the “Kenyans-for-Kenyans” initiative to end the looming hunger situation in the country. We managed to rise over Kshs. 500 million. Imagine that. And the funds are still trickling in. big up to you all. That’s the power of the masses. I believe we hold the power to change our current status quo and not depend on these fat idiots in the hill to make the decisions for us. Let them enjoy their short stint in glory, for come next year, they burn.

Imagine one Alfred Some-one-or-other saying that they don’t have any reported cases of people dying of starvation in the country and goes further to say that we as the hard working non-sensicle Kenyans that we are, to report if we know of anyone, and I quote “who has died as a result of old age or starvation”. I went mental. Is this guy for real? I am even surprised that he managed to stay in office for this long when the most important thing he has ever done for this country is to offer comic relief to the stressed Kenyans by his senile comments of self perpetuated ignorance and indignation. You sir, are a not worth squat, and I shall not waste any more of my mental currency on you.

Feels good to rant and rave, huh? So we saw a Hyena the other day at Karen, of all places. I couldn’t believe it at first but when I got closer it really was, on the road, scratching it’s posterior on a stone. It was utterly disgustingly astonishing. A hyena, never mind we have them scattered all over this particular neighborhood, and they represent us in parliament as a matter of fact but not those ones but a real life one. How cool is that. But yes, I drove on, curiosity did kill the cat.

But I do miss the hummer. And I promise you this, next week, it will be on the road. Lamu. Island paradise. Man I miss that place. My sanctum of solitude. Miles and miles of white sandy beaches with no one in sight, the salty ocean air fills your lungs and you are instantly teleported to a nirvana of peace. Lamu. But I go there for other reasons to. Getting away from it all and just kick it on the beach but also….to walk on the beach absolutely…eeeh..in my birthday suit. Getting in touch with my primal instincts as I call it, and just ran and frolic like Adam did, but on a white sandy beached Eden. 98 days to go..and counting.

So folks, find you “Lamu” today, and just get away from it all.

...GOR BIRO..

The aroma of the half eaten chicken-pie hung in the bus. The whiffs of wind blowing it further up the nostrils of the now salivating passengers. A guy throws a mad glance at the mow-hawk laden lass listening to who knows what on her head phones. Yes. I am still doing Matatus and buses. The hummer hasn’t gotten a viable donor for the wind shield wipers that were disemboweled by my hyperactive two year old nephew. This is just one of many days riding in matatus.

But I think the one that topped it of folks, was the transvestite. Passengers held their breath as this “lady” with an Adam’s apple got into the bus. I have to give her / him credit coz she/he had a sense of style about her. She briskly walked by the isle as people stared at her in amazement. She/he got a seat next to this spectacled guy and the guy was quivering in his seat. She flopped and pumped his/her hair now and then and this elderly guy just squinted in her direction thinking that he must really need glasses. All of a sudden she throws a kiss towards the elderly guy’s direction. That was enough to tell the geezer to mind his own. Kenyans hehe.

Rose Nasimuyu. The nine years old who has made head-lines and touched the hearts of many with her ordeals and challenges as a cancer survivor. She is not a victim, but a survivor. I choked mid-way through her narration of the countless number of medical procedures she undergoes to stay alive. Rose Nasimuyu, is my hero. She has valor and particularly very knowledgeable for a kid that age. The cancer hasn’t robbed her of her childhood spirit. She is living proof of what self-will and determination can remedy anything life throws your way. Am blown away by her resilience to live.

“Gor Biro!!!” chants run through the stadium. The blinding green and white jerseys and apparels soaked the stadium, overshadowing the blues and whites. 

The mood is electrifyingly intoxicating and the evidently dark-skinned keen from the lake-side were in numbers. That was the gimotimore (that’s what’s up) at last weekend’s game against two of Kenya’s top soccer clubs. Gor Mahia FC a.k.a Sirkal and AFC Leopards a.k.a Ingwe. The traditional Isikuti (drum made of hallow tree trunk and Python skin) originally from the western parts of Kenya is largely the “tool’ choice of the Leopards’ supporters, resonated throughout the stadium..the catchy tunes had us Gor supporters moving our heads in our seats. Well, us Gor supporters aren’t left behind with our tongs and “Obu” (horn made of Thompson’s Gazelle horns) sang of the heroics of the Gor Mahia fraternity. Yawa, Semji..not today. We gave them 3 goals to the meager 1. Gor is taking over. So the next game is flood-light on the 3^rd of August. And am going to dye my beard some fluorescent Green. Cant wait.